Laughter and kindness

Today we spent a day with nine children who all had severe disabilities and many of whom have had these caused or compounded by severe neglect or abuse, often arising simply out of ignorance. Their families, where they have families, are amongst the poorest in this community, where poverty is the norm. Their biological impairments are at times augmented by negative attitudes and behaviour by members of their communities and families. Against this background it is perhaps surprising that my predominant impression of the day is of laughter.

One boy laughs if something is thrown on the floor near him. Since some of his fellows enjoy doing just that, he spent a considerable amount of time laughing. Others enjoyed simple fooling about, as children do, and one girl who doesn’t have much useful movement except in one arm, took great delight in throwing a bean bag for us to catch, at times teasing us by not throwing it, while other kids chuckled and giggled away when they could watch others interacting, or could manage to grasp and release the bean bag ball. I took over an hour to give a girl with athetoid CP her posho and beans, during which she grinned at me and tried to say her name to remind me to keep going when I got distracted.

Loving care and frequent bathing and changes of clothes by the attendant staff combine with their efforts to understand and meet the individual needs of the children. They try to ensure they are safe, that their bodies are helped to function as best they can, that they get adequate nutrition, and above all that they are treated with kindness as human beings.

I find myself agreeing with a speaker at the recent RCGP conference, John Ballatt, who was advocating the virtue of intelligent kindness. Kindness can sound weak but considered as an active virtue it is remarkably powerful. It means we attend to one another respectfully and become attuned to others’ way of communicating, building trust and therapeutic relationships, all of which I have witnessed today. Looking back over the last couple of weeks’ experience and indeed my last 18 months’ or so journey with childhood disability, I can see the power of kindness, resolutely and thoughtfully pursued in the face of prejudice, neglect and cruelty. It tells people they are worthwhile and valued, and encourages them to reach out to others. According to Ballatt, the English word is linked to the word “kin” or “kindred”, and is rooted in the fact that we are family. It reflects the kindness and mercy of our heavenly Father. Let’s keep working to multiply it!